Most of you probably already know that the cancer *DID NOT* spread, but I just like to say it over and over again!!!
I had my PET scan first thing Friday morning and didn't expect to get the results until tomorrow. But luckily and unfortunately I had a fluid pocket in my incision that the Doctor drained earlier in the week and it started to look infected, so I stopped by the clinic to get it checked out. While I was there seeing the clinic resident, my Doctor's nurse came by to tell me that if I would hang out a few more hours I could get my results! I had already been at the hospital for 4 hours what's a couple more?!
Let me walk you through a typical day at the hospital for me, because 'nothing' seems to go normal when I'm there! First, we got an awesome parking spot, just steps from the door, I was hoping I didn't use up all of my good luck on a parking spot! So it started off with my PET scan, which I was scared about, but that was the most awesome test I've ever had!!! First they started an IV, and the guy was great, I didn't even bruise! Then they injected me with a radioactive agent, it's pretty serious looking injection that comes in a 4lb metal case, kinda creepy! Then they made me sit in a recliner for an hour in a dark quiet room all by myself and told me a could take a nap while the radioactive agent went to work, I could take a nap... this test is great! Then they put me on a bed for 20 minutes, moved me in and out of a tube, and I took another nap! I could have a PET scan every week if they wanted me to! Then I headed off to the clinic to get my incision looked at, praying they didn't poke around at it because I didn't take any pain medicine before going, last time they 'looked' at I got poke with the wooden end of q-tip, ouch!! The resident wasn't comfortable messing with it b/c he didn't want to make things worse, enter sigh of relief b/c it hurt just thinking about it! In comes my Doctors nurse to tell me to hang out for a few hours and he would check out my incision and give me my results, how's that for service, I'm like a rockstar in that hospital!!
After killing some time and waiting for Will to make it to the hospital for my impromptu appointment we see the Doctor, he was still waiting to hear back from the Radiologist on my results so he decided to once again jam the business end of a q-tip in my abdomen to see of he could drain the fluid, FANTASTIC!
Finally... Will, my mom and myself are waiting for the news. In comes the Doctor and I could see it all over his face before he even said the words 'YOUR SCAN IS NEGATIVE!' It's like he came in skipping! I love my Doctor! He is so straight to the point! And he really took it personally when he found the cancer on my lymphnode. He said that he wants to treat me as aggressively as possible because cervical cancer that spreads is considered incurable... And he knows I can handle it! I have such I good outlook on the treatment, I don't care what he does or how horrible it makes me feel, I don't want cancer anymore and the thought of dying scares the shit out of me!
I feel like I am too young to have to go through this, but youth is definitely on my side! Until Friday afternoon I was so scared of the possibility that this could be incurable, that I could die, that I wouldn't get to watch my girls grow up, that I would leave Will alone... There are so many things I haven't done/seen, we always said there would be time for it later, when our kids are older. Well, I realize now that life is a gift. And it can not be taken for granted! You can't put a price on it, and I won't ever again! I don't care how much debt I rack up, when this is over with, I'm doing anything and everything I want! Eventually I'll be able to work again and pay it all off!
I know this journey is no where near being over, we've barely even started! I am so thankful for all the help/love/prayers, I was starting to lose hope after the initial results of my surgery. I am so lucky to have such a strong support system. Poor Will may not know what to say when I randomly start crying, but having his shoulder to cry on is all I need, he's my rock! Our moms have been such a huge help with watching the girls so I could recover and taking care of all the housework, we are so lucky! I'm not sure how I will ever thank them enough!
So F*** You Cancer!! You may have won the first battle, but I will win the war!!!!
