The original plan was for me to have a radical hysterectomy and be cancer free, that meant no more babies, lots of physical changes but most importantly no cancer... well that didn't happen! So here's how my surgery day unfolded, sorry if this grosses some people out :)
I had my steroid shots as planned to help the babies lung maturity and then I was admitted before lunch time on Sunday the 10th, we started a Magnesium infusion to help with brain function for the baby, it was supposed to make me feel horrible, I had heard terrible things!!! But I felt great! I few hot flashes here and there, but no nausea or extreme tiredness, it couldn't have gone any better! Then the fun really started... the bowel prep! I let Will go home and my mom stayed with me at the hospital, I figured if something bad happened during my surgery I didn't want his last memory of me being me shitting my brains out! So it usually starts working after the first couple of cups you drink, but it didn't, it didn't work for 12 hours! I was up all night long! It made me so sick, I had to drink 4 liters of this stuff and it didn't work, it just sat in my stomach, it was horrible! God Bless the nurse that sat in the bathroom with me, she was a real trooper, and she had also just been diagnosed with cancer so we had something to talk about! And my poor mom... my poor, poor mom! Anyway, after success on the toilet and a few good hours of sleep I was ready to go! Will came in bright in early the morning of my surgery, we had to finalize Kaitlyn's name, nothing like waiting until the last minute! I had fifty different doctors, anesthesiologist, and nurses in and out of my room before my surgery, it was a mad house. But I didn't care, I was ready! I wanted it to be over with, I wasn't scared... until they put me in the wheelchair to head of to the OR...
In the OR it was controlled chaos! There were people everywhere, I had to "relax" when they put my epidural in... I was ready to say screw it and knock me out, but I soldiered through it b/c I knew that I would get the chance to see Kaitlyn before the 'real' surgery started! It seemed like forever before my epidural started working and they started the surgery. I will say that all of my IV sticks and my art line were painless, so kudos to the staff that put them in! Will was able to come in and be there when Kaitlyn was born and I had Dr. Vedder and Dr. Batts from the NICU to work on Kaitlyn so I knew she was in good hands, they talked to me the whole time to tell me what they were doing to her. Kaitlyn cried immediately, but I swear it seemed like forever until I got to see her! As soon as I saw her I asked to be put to sleep, I was sooooo scared and nervous for my surgery that I just wanted to go to sleep and forget about it all!
Then I woke up... it sucked... I hurt ALOT!!! But not only did I wake up in pain, I woke up to a nurse telling me she was going to massage my uterus... My uterus??? I'm not supposed to have one of those! But I quickly realized that I had a uterus because I had cancer... that was a sucky moment!! My doctors and my family all told me the news... they found a lymphnode that was covered with cancer, from my understanding the other lymphnodes were OK, but I we'll get more clarification on that this week. My doctor was obviously mad about the whole situation, it wasn't what he expected to find... he searched my entire abdomen, ouch! He moved my ovaries up so hopefully radiation won't kill them, and removed the affected lymphnode and surrounding tissue... it was pretty painful, I can't even imagine how much I would have been in if they did the radical hysterectomy...
So for now we are waiting until I can have a PET scan to see if the cancer has spread anywhere else, I have that on the 29th. The plan is to have radiation and a low-dose chemo, starting as soon as a heal, so probably in a few weeks.
I still don't understand why the MRI's never showed any signs of cancer... I have always believed God has a plan and we will never give us more than we can handle, so my only logic is that we would have terminated the pregnancy if my initial MRI showed cancer, but it didn't and now we have another beautiful baby girl! Because my lymphnode was cancerous I didn't have a hysterectomy b/c I need those organs to protect my abdomen during radiation, which sucks, but I didn't have a hysterectomy... so my recovery from surgery was a lot easier and the surgery itself was safer, and I'm not going through menopause at the age of 26! So yeah, it wasn't the way we expected it to work out, but it is what it is... Maybe radiation won't be so bad, maybe it will be easier on my body than a hysterectomy would have been. All I can hope for now is that the cancer didn't spread and after my treatments this will be all over! I'm still pretty optimistic... I don't think things have really sunk in yet, I'm still waiting to have my meltdown! I've come close!
I am so lucky to have such amazing family and friends, I have no idea how I could ever repay any of them for all of the help, love and support I have gotten through this whole ordeal! I may not show it all the time or even say it as much as I should, but I am so thankful! I hope my moodiness hasn't made anyone too mad at me :) But these post-baby hormones are no joke!
On another note... Kaitlyn is doing great! She immediately cried at delivery, but she did have a few issues. She needed oxygen for about a week, but she is doing awesome now! She finally started to eat on her own and we expect her to come home tomorrow, typically they would have held her a few more days to make sure she's eating well, but being a NICU nurse has it's benefits! They trust me enough to be able to take her home! It is going to be a Happy Easter at the Berry house!
Happy Easter Everyone!!!!
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