Reality Check...

Next time I post, I should be cancer free!

So it's 3AM and I can't sleep, not uncommon these days, but since every room in my house is occupied by family I am sitting in the corner of my room trying to type softly to not wake up Will :) I figured now is a good time to update the blog, hey at least I'm not up crying which is what usually happens, I get up to pee in the middle of the night and I end up staying up for 2hrs crying! I was going to make phone calls to my Florida friends and family, but I'm not sure the other five sleeping people in the house would appreciate it, so it will have to wait!

So I have had all of my pre-op appointments and everything is set, in a little over 48hrs I will have a new baby girl, no more baby making parts, and hopefully no more cancer!

Apparently I am a pretty popular case at Tripler Army Medical Center... I think I am up to 8 Doctors that I am aware of that will be in the OR during my surgery, a few being 1st year med students, I'm all for a teaching hospital, but they better not touch me! Every time I meet a new Dr. they tell me they have heard about me, the least they could have done is giving a special parking spot!

I had my first steroid shot in the bum yesterday for the baby's lung maturity and then I get another tomorrow, and then I get admitted in Sunday to start a drug that is typically used in pre-term labor but it's side-effect for the baby is decreased risk of some neurological issues like cerebral palsy, which I am all for, but this drug sucks and I'm going to spend my last few hours feeling like I'm hungover... I can't catch a break!

So we had the "what if" talk last night... Will asked me on the way to movies, probably so I couldn't avoid him or run away! I remember having this same conversation before he left for Iraq, but now the tables have turned... it's me we're having to worry about... So we quickly discussed my end of life wishes and that was that, kind of like peeling of a band-aid! He started making jokes about it before I even had time to cry, that's why I love him! The surgery is very serious, but that is a very extreme outcome! I haven't thoroughly discussed with my Dr what outcomes and changes I will go through after my hysterectomy, it's much different from a regular hysterectomy, and since this really isn't elective I decided I wouldn't ask until after it was done... but of course I couldn't let it go! I became like the same patients I complain about, doing research on the internet is the devil! People rarely post about the good outcomes, the people who discuss things are the people who have had issues and are looking for help... not a smart choice for me to do right before I go to bed, so Will shut off my phone and told me the surgery was not elective so we would deal with whatever comes our way... did I mention I love him :)

It's now 4AM and Will is up, oops! I guess I'll try to go back to sleep....

I will try to update everyone while in the hospital... but I will definitely have Will post on facebook a picture of the baby and of course how I'm doing :)

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am sooooooo blessed and thankful to have such amazing friends and family... I know I haven't spoken personally to many lately, but my coping tactic is avoidance :) But I've learned that not talking about it doesn't make it go away! So thanks for loving me anyway!